Random Thursday

1. I just looked at the stats for the 2nd time ever. Who has been looking at my blog from Slovenia? Fess up.

2. I got this glycolic/salicylic peel Monday afternoon. I look like my face is melting.

3. Nate says my face is molting. That sound better than melting.

4. The lady who did my peel said I need 20 units of Botox in my forehead. She said, "You're very expressive aren't you?" Then she told me that I have these wrinkles starting on my forehead from being expressive. She told me to furrow my brow, which I couldn't do very well. Then she seemed surprised when she said, "You don't make that face very often, do you?" No, I don't like really mad a lot. Thanks. She said I don't have any wrinkles between my eyebrows.

I'm also 26 and I don't need Botox, lady.

5. Nate Dawg and I totally don't want to do anything for NYE. We've been invited to do some stuff, but I don't wanna go. Neither does he. People make such a big deal out of it, that I feel like we should too.

6. Saw True Grit the other day with Nate Dawg's fam. Good movie. I've seen parts of the original, but I don't really remember much of it. 2 thumbs up.

7. It's supposed to be like 70 today in OK. So excited! Nate Dawg took the day off to golf.

8. Yesterday was my Papa's 82 birthday. He was born 12/29/28. My grandma was born 1/28/29. I always thought that was so cool.

9. I found this website through Skinny Runner. I love Skinny Runner. Anywho, the website does daily jokes.


The White House says President Obama plans to spend more time outside Washington, engaging with the public. Actually, it's called looking for a job.

84-year old Hugh Hefner is engaged. His 23-year old fiance nearly broke Hef's back over the weekend. She thought she was changing channels with the remote...she was actually pitching Hef back and forth in his hospital bed.

Elton John and his husband, David Furnish are the proud parents of a baby boy born on Christmas Day. Elton wrapped the infant in swaddling clothes and left him with a manager.





New York City was hit by a huge blizzard. Everything was so white the street mimes had to perform in blackface.

Actor Kelsey Grammer, who is 55, is engaged to 29-year old Kayte Walsh. Talk about robbing the cradle. I hear that after sex, Kayte claps her hands and says, "Aw done! Aw done!"


There's your laugh for the day.

So What Wednesday

SO What if...

-I got a peel on Monday. I want to scratch my face off. I know it's totally worth it AFTER the peel, but during the peel...I hate it.

-I am currently questioning my sanity (due to peel).

-I'm taking Norman to a new groomers tomorrow. I'm nervous. He hasn't been to one since we moved to Tulsa. I'm an overprotective dog mom. I mean, look at this face:

-My 27th birthday is January 7. That is not old by any means, but it's just older than what I'm used to. Duh.

-We talked to my big brother on Christmas day. He is a doctor in the Air Force and is in a far away country. He was flying over a very dangerous country while on the phone with us. Since he has been gone I've had the weirdest dreams. All taking place in far away countries. Each dream ends up with us (Amuuuuricans) being super happy and lucky that my brother is on our side. I'm proud he's on our team.

-He told us he will be coming home in the next week or so, but he will have to go back to the far away land in May. I'm not ok with this-but I am glad he is on our side.

-We close on our house next Thursday. So ready to be in our place. Here's a pic of the front:

I love it.

-Everytime I play this game, I think of the SNL skit where they're making fun of The View. Fred Armisen dresses up like Joy Behar and says, "So what?" in that crazy east coast accent.

Head over to Mama Dew's blog and tell her what you're saying SO WHAT to.

Funniest Christmas Cards...EVER!

Goodness gracious people. I started this last week and never finished it. So I'm posting as is. That way I can add this to my New Year's Resolution of blogging at least 3 times/week.


Hey, did y'all know Christmas is in a few days?

I thought I would help y'all get in the holiday spirit. My friend Mallory send me this website. She actually knows the guy. This is what Mal said about it, "These are funny and REAL Christmas cards sent by OU Alum Kenny Shore.  He tries to top himself every year.  Kenny is a friend of my dad's and very funny. He has been sending out cards for almost 20 years. My family gets very excited every year in anticipation of the card."

Without further adieu, I give you my favorites of The Shore Christmas Cards

1991



Every other Christmas card I got back then from my friends featured a handsome fella, his pretty blonde wife and their adorable kids all decked out in holiday sweaters sitting in front of their fireplace, golden retriever at their side.


I couldn’t relate.

 So I decided to show ‘em how Christmas was celebrated at Ken Shore’s house, by God. I emptied out a few bottles that just happened to be laying around and created a typical night there at 1218 Barnard Drive.


I had no idea what I’d started.






Favorite Captions:


+ Every night is the “Fifth” night of Christmas around here.

+ Sleeping it off in heavenly peace.

1992

People had already started asking about a follow-up to the “Fifth” night of Christmas card. There was a tattoo parlor about a block from my office downtown. Who knows where the inspiration came from for this one.



My art director/partner Bill Verrill did the painting on my arm. Then we headed over to Las Vegas Tattoo Parlor where this guy “Doc” was cool enough to play along. Bill snapped the shot here.


Favorite Caption:


+ Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

2001



Most people think I’m responsible for the twisted ideas behind these cards. And up to this year, they would have been right. But my sweet-as-pie, Catholic-as-the-Pope wife came up with this one. “Here’s what I’m thinking,” she said to me one night in late November. “The card has you and your friends all watching a stripper in our house. Then I come in unexpectedly early from an evening of Christmas shopping and surprise you all.” If the first words out of my mouth that very second weren’t, “Woman, I love you!” they should have been.

Once again, Wes came through on this one, providing the photography, the lighting and the stripper.



For some reason, the thing came together so fast that I wound up calling everyone at the last minute. Ordinarily, I couldn’t have gotten these guys to help me do anything more than, maybe, drain a bottle of whiskey. But when I explained what I needed help with (staring at a naked woman in my living room with my wife’s blessing) they all showed up without hesitation, no matter what they already had going on that night. Mike Lawrence (second row, showing titty of his own) for instance, had just had his wisdom teeth pulled that very day. He shows up, pain and all. Chris Weir (second row, blue sweater, white boa) was celebrating his birthday that day. He told his wife that birthday dinner plans had changed. Similarly, Jesse Leeds (front row, cigar in hand) had a babysitter that night and he and his wife were going to have the first quiet romantic dinner out together since the kids were born. “Sorry, baby, my man Ken needs me.” Jim Snyder (front row, red bow, dollar in mouth) even brought his wife along. As for Bill George (front row center…best seat in the house) and Tom Hawley (back row, hiding his boner), when I called each of them on the phone, I think they appeared at my front door before I even got the word “stripper” out of my mouth.

On a tragic note, take a look at where everyone is looking. All my boys (and even my wife) get to stare at the stripper’s bare chest. Who’s the only person in the room who doesn’t get to feast eyes on the boobs? Pity. I heard they were fantastic.






Favorite Captions:


+ Uh-oh!
+ D-I-V-O-R-C-E


Those are just a few of my favorites. Go to his blog and check out the rest!

Top 2 Tuesday

It's Top 2 New Years Resolutions!

I'm not good at New Years Resolution. I'll tell you why. I live a pretty healthy lifestyle. You could tell me to stop drinking, then I would punch you in the face. Kinda like I almost did to the lady who was doing my facial yesterday and told me I need Botox. More on that later.

I don't really do things. Does that sound bad? I could say I'll be a better blogger. But I probably won't. I haven't blogged in a week. Mainly because life happened and other things trumped my blogging. That's just how it goes.

So, I'll make 2 very generic and pretty easily achievable resolutions.

1. Blog at least 3 times/week UNLESS something else comes along that takes all of my attention away from blogging.  I have ADHD. So...most things will take my attention away from whatever I'm doing at the time.

Ok I'm back from doing the dishes.

2. Stop cussing as much. I'm not going to pinch myself or put money in a jar. Mostly because I rarely have cash. I just use it for emphasis. I watch my mouth around children and at church. I also didn't cuss at the lady yesterday when she said I needed Botox. I had to cover my mouth to stop myself from saying, "Biiiiiitch."

Had to make Nate Dawg's lunch before I finished this.

Go to Taylor's Blog and link up.

Also, if you have an extra prayer in ya today and everyday (and I know you do), say a prayer for Taylor. She's going through chemo right now. She is staying so, so positive. She is an inspiration to me, even though I do not know her personally.

Miscellany Monday



1. I had to read in a wedding Saturday. I hate reading in weddings. Like, hate it. Like drank before leaving the hotel. Drank in the church. And I'm sure I was still blotchy red while reading. I read 1 Corinthians 13, which I know by heart. But it's over with.

2. I took the wedding gift to the wedding, and forgot to put it on the table. So now I have to mail it.

3. My husband will not take a normal picture.

4. It looks like I need to brush my hair.

5. That berry thing that I have on my chest had these crazy sharp leaves. Crazy, crazy sharp, I tell ya. I couldn't look down because they would poke my face. There was a broach pinned on there that was our gift. All of the broaches looked like snow flakes. Nate said, "So you wear that thing and you turn into a grandma?"

6. I'm picking my brother, Paul, up from the airport tomorrow. He lives has been in Mexico the last year and 1/2 attending grad school for Archaeology. I miss him. So happy he'll be in for Christmas! He's like Indiana Jones. Only I call him Oklahoma Paul. Has a nice ring to it.

7. I'm sad my oldest brother, Joe Clay, won't be here for Christmas. He is currently deployed with the Air Force. He's doctorin' the hell out of some folks over there. So proud. 

8. We were in Fort Worth for the wedding Saturday night. Sunday we met up with some friends of our from Texas that moved to Tennessee when we did. We haven't seen them in like 4 weeks. We gave each other our Christmas presents. I got a Shake Weight. And I love it.

9. We had REAL Mexican food Sunday. It's real because it was made by actual Mexicans. From Mexico. I miss real, good Mexican food. Texas has the best Mexican food. Next to Mexico of course.

Head over to Carissa's blog and play along. 



Weiner!

We have a weiner!


courtesy of google images

courtesy of google images

Since there were very few entries, I'm thinkin y'all had a plan. You wanted to up your chances of winning, so you didn't tell ANYONE!

Y'all are smart.

The weiner of the CSN Giveaway is...

Brandi at idée fixe

Thanks for participating!

Hopefully I will get to do more giveaways!

Top 2 Tuesday

Top 2 Tuesday...Games!

1. Cranium.



My family started playing this a few years ago. Nate Dawg and I got our own when we got married. We played so much we pretty much memorized every answer.

We got all of our friends playing it. It caused many arguments between couples. All in good fun, of course.

One time, Nate Dawg and I were on a team and my bff Brandi and her bf (now husband) Steve were on a team. Steve cheated and Brandi told on him. So Brandi and I got on a team, Nate Dawg and Steve got on a team. Nate Dawg had a person clue and he was supposed to sing a song to describe the person. The person was Bob Dylan. So Nate waits and waits and can't think of a Bob Dylan song and time was running out. So he starts singing, "Ooonnneee headliiight". Steve says, "Wallflowers! Jakob Dylan! Bob Dylan!"

I was pissed. I don't know how they did it. We talked about this 2 weeks ago and it happened at least 4 years ago.

2. Words With Friends

It's sad how obsessed Nate Dawg and I are with this. We force people to play with us. ha We got it last year at Thanksgiving because Nate's little brother told us about it. We ended up playing with Nate brother, as well as his 3 cousins, during Thanksgiving dinner. Whoops. We didn't even speak, we just played each other in WWF. WWF is what super cool people call it. haha

Head over to Taylor's blog and play along!

And don't forget about my giveaway!

My Very First Giveaway!

CSN Stores has over 200 online stores where you can find anything you need whether it be a chic handbag,

tv tables

 or even cute cookware!

In this GIVEAWAY you have the chance to win a $35 gift certificate to use as you wish at any of their 200 online stores!

Rules to enter:

**(1 entry): you must follow my blog (hit the follow button and leave me a comment saying you are a follower); and tell me what gift you would get if you win

**(1 entry): tweet about it (and while you're at it, follow me @mogyver)

**(3 extra entries) blog about this giveaway (just leave your link in a comment below :)

*This contest will be open until Midnight (Central Time Zone y'all) December 19.
 * This contest is open to US and Canada residents only


*The winner will be selected randomly (random.org); the winner will be announced December 20...so check back to see if YOU won!


GOOD LUCK!

Fill in the Blank Friday

It's Friday.

And I am totally doing Fill in the Blank Friday. On Friday. Who's excited?

Simmer down now.

1.   I wish I had some energy today. This cold, dreary weather is making me very sleepy.

2.  Yesterday I shopped for a dress to wear to a wedding next week. I did not find a thing I liked under $200.

3.  Today I will  hang out with my mom for a bit, then go home and see Nate Dawg. We don't have any plans for this wknd. That is exciting.

4.  Tomorrow I will  finish my post about my very first giveaway!!!!! Tell your friends.

5. Maybe I will go to the gym. Maybe I won't.  

6. Someday we will have kids and I'll make us all wear matching pj's. But don't tell Nate Dawg. Not sure he'll go for it. 

7. I love living with my husband again. 2 months apart sucks. Bad.  

AND...just because I can...I'm participating in LAST week's Fill in the Blank Friday. I kinda sorta forgot to do it.

1.   Holiday spirit umm...is great.

2. The holidays are incomplete without watching A Christmas Story, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, Christmas Vacation, It's a Wonderful Life, and Home Alone.

3. My favorite things to do around the holidays are listen to Christmas music. Stare at Christmas lights. Go to Christmas parties. Drink Christmasy drinks. Oh, and celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. Duh!

4. A holiday tradition my family and I have is we play dirty santa, play cards and have 24 hours of A Christmas Story going on in the background. At certain parts we all stop and quote the movie.  

5. Holiday music is delightful. I can listen to it anytime of the year. At my bff's wedding a few years ago, the very last song of the night was Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas is You. EVERYONE was out there dancing. And her wedding was April 26.

6. This year, I'll be spending the holidays Christmas Eve and Christmas morning will be at my parents house in Pawhuska. Then Christmas afternoon we'll head to my aunt and uncle's house. The day after Christmas will be spent with Nate Dawg's family. His mom is a nurse and has to work Christmas day.

7. Holiday wish list Toms, Clarisonic skin brush, these running shoes, and that's all I can think of right now.

Head over to the little things we do.

Giveaway

I heart Giveaways!

Taylor at The Undomestic Momma is hosting a giveaway.

Head over to her blog and check it out!

Disclaimer: If you win, you must give me the prize. Sorry, it's like the law or something.

Giveaway

Megan at In this wonderful life has teamed up with Blogher and is hosting a giveaway.

Woo hoo!!!

Disclaimer: If you win, you must give me the prize. Sorry, it's like the law or something.

So What Wednesday

SO What If...

-I participated in Top 2 Tuesday on Wednesday

-I backed into a tree last Friday. It came out of nowhere!

-I lied. The tree has been there for like 150 years. And I knew it was there. And I still hit it. And it cost me $100 to fix my tail light. 

-I don't want to pay the $500+ to fix my fender. The scratch is not THAT noticeable. 

-I'm super upset that I finally discovered Scentsy's leather smell and they discontinued it.

-I haven't bought 1 Christmas present yet.

-I'm reading in a wedding next week and I have nothing to wear. Literally. I did not pack 1 dress. All of our stuff is in storage. Must. Go. Shopping.

-I also have not picked up a wedding gift or a bachelorette gift for my friend that's getting married next wknd.

-I am beyond pale. Guess I'll have to do another spray tan before this wedding.

-I farted on Nate last night. Allegedly. I took Benadryl after having 3 nights of terrible sleep. I fell asleep on the couch, butt pointed in his directions. He was sort of laying on me and I alledgedly farted. Pretty much right in his face.

-I do not remember that, therefore it did not happen.

-I forgot to bring my dad's birthday card, as well as a few other birthday cards I bought with us to Oklahoma. They are stored away with the rest of our crap. I had to rebuy many birthday cards. And I sent them late.

-I hate sending birthday cards late.

What are you saying SO WHAT to this week? Head over to Mama Dew's blog and preach on!



Top 2 Tuesday



Top 2 Tuesday-Christmas Ornaments!

I started this Tuesday. I'm finishing it Wednesday. So sue me.

All of our Christmas stuff is in storage. Again, sue me.

1. One of my kindergarten students got me an ornament that looks like this

I was so exctited when I got it. We were living in Texas and the little girl and her family were from Chicago. But they always talked football with me. I went right home and put it on our tree.

2. My new favorite Christmas ornament is from my friend Elizabeth. We talked about the "First Christmas" ornaments folks get when they get married. Nate Dawg and I did not get one. So she had a cutie one made for us and gave it to me right before we moved. This isn't our "First Christmas" ornament, but has some very lifelike pics of Nate Dawg, Me and Norman.

I am aware of my awesome photography skills.