Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The One Who Wore the Yellow Dress

I have 13 followers. Hollaaaaa! Most of y'all I know personally, but there are like 4 that I don't. So that makes me excited!

For some reason, I feel the need to tell y'all a story. By the end of it, I may have 0 followers again. But I feel the need to tell this.

I was with Nate Dawg's family at his cousin's wedding in Springfield, MO. Nate Dawg and I had been married at least a year at the time. It was a nice wedding, everyone was having a great time. I was rockin this suuuper cute yellow dress. Anyway, the reception was nice because there was a sweet chocolate fountain and lots of wine. I started drinking lots of wine and the only thing I had to eat was some fruit covered in chocolate. I won't go into details, but I danced a lot on some stage with all of Nate Dawg's cousins and drank lots of wine. Did I mention I drank lots of wine? When we got back to the hotel, everyone was in the lobby, and I threw up on Nate Dawg's little brother Nick. Like all over his shirt. I think he was maybe 19 at the time. I'm sure one of his goals in life was to have his sister-in-law throw up on him in front of his entire family.

We were sharing a room with Nick and I woke up the next morning in a bed by myself in my thong and strapless bra. Classy. I thought Nick was in the other bed, so I said, "Nick! What happened? Where am I? Where's Nate?"

Then Nate looked at me over the covers, and I'm sure I looked all sorts of confused. I said, "Nate?! Why are you over there?" He said, "Because you threw up on yourself and my brother and I was afraid you would throw up on me."

I saw my dress on a chair, covered in vomit. Nice. Good one Morgan.

We had to get ready and go to b'fast with his fam. Nate Dawg's great uncle came over to me, did the sign of the cross, then laughed and said, "No one in this family can say anything about your actions because they've all been there themselves. Some of them have been there more than once." Then he said he'd pray for me and he left for Mass. 

Since then, the person who acts a fool at any family gathering is given the title "The One Who Wore the Yellow Dress".

That pic is pre-vom.

The following Monday I went to the dry cleaners to drop off my dress. They knew who I was, so I just put the dress in a wad on the counter, told them someone threw up on me, then walked off. They cleaned it up real nice, but I haven't worn the yellow dress again. Literally or figuratively.